Don't be afraid to begin again ....
- 1 day ago
- 9 min read
It is mid June 2026 and I find myself starting over in some areas. I am not the person who adapts to change very well but I have had to learn to embrace it. My family is growing and changing and I get to welcome a new son to my life! If you don't know or haven't read previous blogs, I have 3 adopted kids who are all married, one son I adopted in my heart later on, and my 3 biological kids with one daughter in law and a soon to be son in law. I have a herd of horses and 2 cats and 1 cat grandbaby and 2 dog grandbabies. Life is good. We are a diverse family as I have an adopted daughter who is Iranian, an adopted son who is from Equador, an adopted daughter from Haiti, and a daughter in law from East coast. My own kids are Russian Ukranian / Irish from my side and Swedish/German/Cree from their dad's side. So family gatherings are loud, full of delicious dishes and games nights are savage and not for the faint of heart!
After covid, I was back in school full time for my undergrad for Law. I was taking Psychology, business, Political Science, Law and Governance, Anthropology, French advanced and Sociology courses when I settled on a Major in Anthropology and a minor in Business and Law & Governance. I love to hike, cook, play piano as I am classically trained and spend time with my family and herd. I like jean shorts, flip flops and tank tops around a fire; walking beside my horses in their field; jeans and jerseys at a sport game; sundresses while sipping wine on a patio and dressing up in Sunday formal for church or a ballgown for a theatre musical. Life is meant to be full of fun and memories. I am more of a boy mom but got blessed with many daughters and sons and that has allowed my girl mom brain to expand as I am naturally a very blunt and to the point mom. So it has softened me.
I ended up in a south Calgary community post covid as I was startng over, and lived 3 years in a STR situation which then rolled over into a lease for a short time. I loved that little community as it had friendly neighbors, 2 close lakes and Fish Creek to walk and explore in. After 3 years I was able to move down the street and a whole new journey began. That home I leased had mold and mice infestation to which was not disclosed to me. I ended up quite ill and had to do lung therapy to heal last year. I stayed a bit longer post lease, to get to the bottom of things and run some tests, and that is when I discovered the mold. A neighbor came by and asked me if I knew that house's history and I said no, I don't. I learnt it had been infested for years with mice from a previous owner and things were now making sense. I wasn't well and cleaned it up myself. When I asked for help I got mocked. When I broke down and cried, weeks in with the issues, I got reported as 'mentally unstable' and a wellness check was done on a Sunday morning with the beautiful and amazing families and neighbors around out for walks. This was done as a tactic to silence me, torment me and humiliate me. It also worked to alienate me and I retreated further away from people.
During the fall and winter following, I had to haul big blue totes of water out to my horses field and power their trough with a generator to keep the water fluid. I would do field checks 4-5 times a day in the cold and often was out in the middle of the night and early am. A family walked by one day as I was struggling to load them, (given my lungs then) and they were curious as to where I went daily that many times with the totes. So I told them and I watched this look of 'aha moment' set in where mysterious curiosity had once lived! I stayed to myself that summer, fall and winter because I was so embarrassed that I had to live in that and you start to wonder why you are treated less than human and denied any form of dignity and have to fix it as a single woman alone. The issue stemmed from multiple entry points and holes in the siding which had pulled loose off the home and chimney. I addressed it and invited them over and extended many many olive branches and understanding but it was met with a level of entitlement and arrogance I had not come across yet. So I stayed longer and looked into it myself with AHS and professionals and got to the bottom of it and am now legally handling it, which will take a year or two.
That August, I noticed a social acquaintance advertised they were leaving their Air BnB home and needed someone to take over the lease. I messaged as I thought I need a clean home with clean air to heal and needed to make money to recoup my losses, so thought it was a blessing and great blend to the hospitality business I had. I was very excited to get going and love that industry! What I did not know, was that they had been shut down and denied and ran it illegally without proper modifications for years and there was no ability for me to get a license without making allowances in one of 2 ways: allowing the entire home as an STR or making the basement a legal suite. Both were refused by that landlord. Which tied my hands and was used as an excuse to not fulfll the terms of the lease. Additionally, I had not gotten it vacant nor was it clean. I had been told a lie that the former tenants 'were moving to a filthy home and had to deal with throwing out furniture and garbage'. This I learnt recently was a lie and tactic to spare them being forced to pay their last month rent. They had lost all keys and I had to get security on the house and locks on with cameras as they had continued to breach the home via the garage door box (I couldn't figure out how to change) and literally stole working appliances and left a set that was broken. The landlord lived in USA and when I requested to get out of the lease due to these substantial breaches, it was met with ultimatums and more lies and discepancies. Yet there was no allowance to make the modifications and it took months for me to realize the actual intent.
Long story short, I am pursuing both parties legally and got out of the lease. I was bullied by both parties, self surveilled by them, slandered, defamed and they carried a narrative to many that was created by someone with no morals, ethics or any form of mental sanity or honesty and was hiding behind their crimes and mistakes. I have had to involve lawyers, the city and police to deal with it and live through a form of bullying and criminal harassment that was next level. The former tenants continue to bombard and have ignored 2 cease and desists, so this has been a bizarre and unpleasant chapter. I welcome starting over.
When I learnt of the truth behind the STR, I went back immediately to teaching piano and have a wonderful and supportive set of parents and students. This is the real blessing because it brought me back to what I love to do, and opened a door to doing music therapy along with my equine therapy my horses will do. Alongside my work, law school, studying for my L-SATS and launching my wellness side with 'Sean West' that offers therapies to help people coming out af adversity, I find that I have actually been placed in a position I was meant to be in all along.
When things are not working out as you hope they do, we can get caught up in the moment and miss the redirection that we were meant to be in. My studies and Due diligence side of my business, relies on situations I just came out of to professionally and supportively help others going through the same. I now have those broadened experiences and amazing teams that will focus on the formal legal and justice aspects, while I welcome and embrace a new chapter that adds to my learning. Their retaliatory action is the threat to "ensure I live nowhere", so that is as well in the hands of professionals. I don't tolerate nor entertain threats now. I action them. I used to be weak in this area and this is a side that has not been seen or felt yet. And that is growth and healing.
Part of my renewed excitement in this change, is I had a bit of a revelation the last week while chatting with someone I have grown to respect, That talk made me aware of how locked in grief from my last relationship I was. I relied on my horses for therapy and my family and home for feeling safe. Yet my home was not safe, and that threw me back into re-living what I had worked so hard to rise above, I was awakened and reminded that we can choose to continually grow, or sit stagnant in the past. I want to grow and help others never be where I have or failed where I have failed in life. We all have a choice daily and it's only us who can truly save ourselves. But we need to be willing.
Starting over in any area of life involves:
An in-depth 90-120 day plan that lays out the needs; wants; budget; desired outcome and contingencies. A contingency plan (colloquially known as "Plan B") is a proactive strategy designed to help an organization or individual respond effectively to unforeseen risks, emergencies, or disruptions. It provides step-by-step instructions and assigned responsibilities to minimize downtime, protect assets, and ensure operational continuity.
Modify and assess the plan to fit within the current budget. Assess means to evaluate, judge, or estimate the value, quality, or importance of something. It also has a distinct financial and legal meaning. Then modify it to fit within your current finanial budget. Then grow it to be sustainable and stable then successful.
Be willing to downsize to upsize. We need to be willing to sacrifice in every area to make room to grow what we need to. The pressure is real to keep up with the Joneses so to speak, but we have to get realistic. I had a choice to make in my last place: pay and take the losses that the entire thing was set up for me to take from essentially signing, or leave and take a stand and downsize. I chose the latter. I put all my items in storage and decided to make money on using my furniture to stage homes. Once I reach my target goal I will buy so I don't have to rely on that industry again.
Be resilient and open to possibilities as you embrace the new normal. Resilience is the capacity to recover, adapt, and "bounce back" quickly after facing adversity, trauma, tragedy, or significant stress. It involves mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility, allowing individuals and systems to endure hardship and grow from the experience. Watch or listen to podcasts that focus on growth. Get back into a gym and out in nature and hike. It's the pressing through physical barriers that assist us in pushing past mental and emotional walls. Change is emotional and we are emotional beings so have a therapy plan (horses, nature and music!) and heal while you rebuild.
Execute and have an escape plan. Execution is the act of carrying out, performing, or completing a plan, task, or order. The exact meaning depends on its context—whether applied to everyday business, technology, or the law. Whether in business, life or love, always have an exit plan in the event things don't go well. That's called preparation. If you prepare and plan ahead, if things don't go the way you want them to or intend them to, it's not as hard a loss or hit to take if you've planned how to navigate that.
Be steadfast in your goals. Just like a rudder on a ship takes time to turn it around and on set a new course, change doesn't happen overnight. Understand how it works and go with the flow and be adaptable while the redirection is set. Intentions matter. Mindset matters. Words matter. They get down into our core and set the tone of our da
y and our plans.
Life and Love,
Junella
